200,000 Ballot Papers Stolen Before The 2015 General Election

A van containing over 200,000 ballot papers was stolen in the run-up to the general election. The Coincidence Theorist investigates…

The van, containing hundreds of thousands of ballot papers, was allegedly pinched by thieves just one week before the general election. The blank ballot slips were destined for two constituencies in East Sussex before the van was robbed.

 

Don’t worry about it.

Some conspiracy theorists have entertained the insane notion that the van could have been targeted intentionally as part of a plot to commit electoral fraud. However, what they don’t realise is that this was all just a massive coincidence.

In a winning combination of exquisite reporting and intuitive police work, The International Business Times offered this all-encompassing explanation to put the public’s mind at rest: “Metropolitan Police do not believe the van was purposely targeted because of its contents, but it instead was merely a coincidence.”

Case closed.

 

“Vote rigging is physically impossible,” says The Coincidence Theorist. “Anyone who doubts the efficiency and integrity of our electoral system must have a screw loose!”

(Enjoyed this post? Check out my article on the coincidental bloodline connections of democratically elected Prime Minister David Cameron here.)  

 

 

1 reply
  1. Frances
    Frances says:

    If the van was stolen two weeks BEFORE the Election the forms would not be filled in. Did anyone not get the chance to vote because there was not a form for them? Surely this would be illegal wouldn’t it?

    Reply

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